Since I’m an astrologer who is also a millennial, I get a lot of people who are quite frankly just overworked. I’m talking about working multiple jobs, trying to figure out multiple relationships while the infrastructure to support community continues to dwindle, and doing the typical domestic duties that we all gotta do so that our partners or roommates or families don’t get too mad at us.
As millennials, we came into adulthood during a time of getting overpriced out of everything while also navigating a labor market that has pretty much replaced stable jobs with contingent labor. It’s a lot!
I get a lot of people who ask me how to rest. How to do it?
I don’t think that people are asking me how to physically rest because most of us know that we gain energy when we eat food and repair our bodies when we sleep. I think that people who ask me how to rest are asking a question that is more abstract than that. There’s a mental strain that comes with caring a lot about people and life in a world that keeps trying to dispose of you that isn’t just physical. This mental strain isn’t about sleeping for whatever number of hours but more about getting to bed or falling asleep. And staying asleep.
This is my philosophy: The best way to rest is to be yourself. Completely yourself. Just yourself. Simply yourself.
You feel rested when you allow yourself to be yourself without wishing to be more or better. You have to clear yourself of your aspirations. You have to be the simple you, the you who you already are without anything extra. You’re not here to become somebody because you are already somebody. The friends who put you at ease are the friends who accept you as you without needing you to be more or better.
Of course, you’re not resting a hundred percent of your life. That would be outrageous and that would also create really unbalanced societies. Community is built out of people caring enough about other people enough to challenge or question ourselves. If you’re going to be a social creature, then you’re going to have some level of social anxiety because relationships will challenge you. You’re not resting all the time. You’re working on stuff and challenging yourself some of the time.
However, you do rest for a portion of your life. You have to. It’s like sleeping. You don’t sleep all the time but you gotta do it sometimes to stay alive.
You need parts of your life that allow you to be just yourself. You can also have other parts of your life where you doubt yourself and push yourself. But you also need some level of acceptance or comfort with the person who you already are. It’s called resting.
And, if you are trying to live in a society that is constantly trying to reduce or consume more of you, then you’re going to need more rest. People who face gender injustice and racism need more hours of sleep but often get the fewest. There’s actually been a few science studies based on this. You will have to fight for your rest, for your space to be just yourself.
You probably need a lot more rest than you are getting. How to do it? That depends on who you are.
Maybe you like to rest at home alone. That’s not true for everyone. Some people rest better with their friends being social or on a long drive. Some people think that reading books is resting and some people don’t. Some people think that cooking is resting because preparing food is the place where they get to be themselves and some people think that it is a chore because they grew up having to make dinner for a family when they really wanted to do something else.
What does it mean to be the simple you? The you who you already are without anything extra?
What was the last time in the last week when you were allowed to be completely yourself? Just yourself? Simply yourself?
What happens when you clear yourself of the desire to be a better friend, a more caring family member, a more impactful member of society? Who accepts you as you are? Who accepts the weary you?
