You know someone is really hooked on you when they ask for your birth time. I mean, if they’re trying to find out their rising sign then there’s at least the possibility that what they’re really trying to do is figure out why they feel the way they do when they see you.
No one dates someone without googling them anymore. We tend to know everything about our crushes, including what high school they went to, where they work, and what their mom’s name is, before we even find the courage to have a conversation about them. Does all this information at our disposal really help us fall for someone or does it give us the false security of thinking that we know someone before we actually put in the time to know them?
Don’t make assumptions about their sexual availability based on Venus, Lilith, or Eros
Consent is the most important thing in sex and, in order to fully receive consent, you have to have the habit of listening to another person in the moment. It takes a lot to communicate desires to a partner and, before you’re willing to go there with someone, it can kinda be not cool to assume anything about someone that you’re dating based on their chart.
Assuming that someone is super sexual because their Lilith is conjunct their Venus, or in Scorpio, or whatever, can neglect to focus on their actual sexual history, which is just as complicated as they are as a person. Thinking that someone is inhibited in their sexuality based on a Venus square to Saturn or Eros in the twelfth house can put words in another person’s mouth and, when you do that around sexuality, it can be a little invasive.
Never assume that you know a person’s sexuality or sexual availability based off anything other than what they communicate to you. And that includes astrology.
That said, astrology can be an useful way to communicate about sexual topics which are hard to talk about. If you and your person are ready for it, look at your charts together and ask them what particular aspects mean for them. Ask them if they have a hard or easy time talking about desire and what you can do to help.
Don’t try to read things into their Saturn
Wherever we have Saturn, we can experience a lot of insecurity. It’s the daddy issues planet and we all have some kind of relationship to authority that precedes our own sense of power.
What can be easy to do, when you look at a Saturn that is not yours, is to project your own issues around authority guides into another person’s life. Especially in love relationships, fighting with a partner can mean that you’re really fighting with your mother. Because Saturn is a marker of age, people tend to have Saturn to Saturn synastry aspect when there is an age gap.
Reading too deep into a crush’s Saturn, before you’re ready to talk about family history and process trauma together, can mean that you’re erasing the potential for you to hear their narrative about alll of these things and, instead, using their chart to think about your own issues. I don’t recommend doing this because it can turn a person you’re curious about into an ideal, whether positive or negative.
I recommend talking about Saturn together when you know that this is someone who will stick around for a long time. Wait until after the three month mark to pass, when you’re both thinking about what you mean to one another and whether you want to continue sharing your lives together, to have a conversation about Saturn.
Don’t try to understand someone’s pain only through their Chiron
Using astrology to assume where someone’s points of vulnerability are can be a little like using astrology to assume things about someone’s sexuality. If they’re not willing to share, then it’s simply not your business yet. Also, without them sharing, there’s no way for you to really understand what their Chiron means to them.
Vulnerability is only good in relationships when both people are ready for it. Whenever someone is forced to be vulnerable, problems happen. If you’re astro-stalking your crush and you see Chiron, where it is, just give yourself a little reminder that you don’t know what all of that is really about yet but that you’re only interested because you want to be ready to care when it does come up.
